no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I FOUND THE LEGS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
