At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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