so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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