I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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