I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
