Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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