if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize