It's just like the Real World with babies
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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