I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
