I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
