He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
