1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
North Korea, Best Korea!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize