someone threw a dead crab at me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize