I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
