i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
