I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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