Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
