he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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