So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize