I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
