shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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