I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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