I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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