Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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