I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
