You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
