Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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