So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize