remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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