You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
