Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
