I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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