It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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