i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
