Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
