I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
