Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
