Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize