I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
