so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
