hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
