I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
