this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
