So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
