the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Lo siento on account of my penis...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
