PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize