Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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