She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
