To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
