I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I FOUND THE LEGS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize