Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
