i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
