Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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