Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize