theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
