The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
