Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
