Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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