I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize